Monday, November 16, 2009


Is it for entertainment? Sometimes I check out the personals on Craigslist. I've written a few women and traded some emails back and forth. Though none of it's gone very far. I used to meet people off the internet on a regular basis, but it's been a long time since then. To be honest, most of the posts I see in the personals section horrify me deeply.

How many posts from barely literate, horny, meth addicted women can you go through before becoming a monk starts sounding like a good idea? Some of my favorite lines are "must have a sense of humor lol." What this means is "must laugh at the same stupid things I laugh at." I've never met anyone that didn't have a sense of humor. I don't think it's possible, really. I know most people reading that might think, "Well, you haven't met my ex's parents..." or something. But really, what you're saying is that the person never laughs at anything... ever. Does anyone really know someone that's never laughed?

It's the same egocentric thinking as when people talk about music and say, "Oh, I like all kinds," or worse, "If it's good, I probably like it." Good music. One woman told me she liked all kinds of music and I said, "So that means you like Death Metal, Break Beat, Street Punk, Baroque, Progressive Jazz, Dark Wave, and Carnatic?" Of course, she didn't know what most of what that meant. She then went on to tell me about 'all the different kinds of music' she liked by naming 7 different types of Techno. Wow. That's diversity right there :/ What she's really saying is "All people think like I do, so if I say 'all kinds of music' you know that I meant all kinds of techno." It really bothers me that I meet so many people incapable of understanding how this is faulty thinking.

Another favorite Craigslist line is women looking for "a REAL man." What the hell does that mean? As far as I know, that means they have a Y chromosome. Really, what the hell is a real man? Again, this means, "Someone who can read my mind through the internet and accept my definition of what makes a man." I guess this is the kind of statement that comes from a woman that's frustrated by the relationships she continues to find herself in and can't seem to understand how to get what she wants, or to even be able to understand in her own mind what that is. In one add, I saw a woman looking for a REAL man saying something like, "if you hit me, you better have flowers the next day." That really breaks my heart to hear a woman say stuff like that.

It makes me think about a bigger problem in American society(well, world society, but one culture at a time). Women are an oppressed majority in our culture. This might make me sound like a male feminist, but it's true. It's not just men that oppress women. Think about how many powerful women are in our society that we allow to be considered an expert on something that don't face backlash for it? Oprah, obviously a powerful, influential woman, but she's an exception for two reasons. One, although she's skilled at what she does, she's not generally seen that way. Most people think running a business or being a talk show host doesn't take skill, so she's basically just a celebrity. And two, she's very humble and non threatening. I mean, she's powerful and influential, but people don't really see her as pushing an agenda. So we're ok with her.

Sarah Palin, not so much. A strong gun toting woman that can kill and skin a moose? People are itching to see her fail. Any little mistake she makes and people celebrate it. News media knows the more they can bash her, the higher their ratings. Of course, no one cared about Joe Biddon even if he made racist jokes about arabs working at Seven11s, but making fun of Palin was media gold. The feminist generally won't protect her because she's in the 'wrong political party.'

Martha Stewart. I remember seeing an entire magazine devoted to spoofing her. "Is Martha Stewart Living," was the name. No one really understands why she went to jail, but I remember camera crews going around showing people laughing and cheering at the news anyways. Who the hell would be against Martha Stewart? But there really are a lot of people who are. The worst thing about Martha Stewart, not only is she talented at something--home making, but she makes cooking, sewing, cleaning, etc, look like actual skills. This implies that women that do these things should be respected. We don't like that at all. We like thinking that these are 'natural skills,' whatever the hell that means, and that women just do them and don't need to be considered experts in them. It's as if we say, "Crafting takes no skill. The only reason men can't do it as well is cause it's just a natural thing women are born with." Now, if someone's *really* good at cooking, if it's a man, we're ok with that. You're not going to see many websites devoted to hating male chefs. But you'll find plenty anti Rachael Ray sites.

Hillary Clinton... I was actually kind of surprised to hear all the democrats say they wouldn't vote for her. As unpopular as McCain is with conservatives, I think Hillary would have lost to him had she won the primary. Obviously Republicans tend to not like her either. I saw a poll from a couple years ago that listed her as the most hated person by Republicans. Hillary is very assertive and decisive. She's the kind of person that doesn't put up with crap... well, unless she's married to it.

Nancy Pelosi. I read somewhere that she averages around 70-80% of votes each election. This might make her one of the most popular Congresswomen among her constituents(of San Fran). However, she's certainly not well liked among the rest of California. I read a recent poll that puts her approval at around 30% among Californians... who I would guess up until a year ago, never even heard of her. In either case, why the sudden hate? I know it's over the health care bill, but she didn't write any of the versions of it. Harry Reid and that other guy I can't think of right now, has done most of that. Other than fighting for the Public Option, she didn't set the terms on what the bill had to include. Obama did. Pelosi is really just a cheerleader for the liberals and a behind the scenes arm twister. Opponents of the current plan call it Pelosicare. Why single her out? Do women make easier targets of hate?

Ann Coulter is probably the most reviled of all. Yeah, she says a lot of things that really upset people, and with good reason. If I took her seriously, I'd be offended too. But coming from someone that's said things like women shouldn't be allowed to vote, when she's a woman, you have to realize a lot of what she says is for shock value and meant to be funny. You might think that other conservative spokes people like Limbaugh or Beck get crap too, sure, but hate for Ann is legendary. And why? It's not like she runs anything or has her own show. But I notice that feminist groups that would be defending her for being attacked because she's a woman, won't defend her because she's 'in the wrong party.' You might think, "Well, I wouldn't defend her either. Have you heard some of the things she's said?" Yeah, I have, and they're some pretty awful things. But remember in the news a few years back when a couple guys ran up to her on stage when she was giving a speech trying to physically assault her? She was able to get away, but instead of hearing outrage from feminists that two men would try and assault a woman even while cameras were rolling, I heard too many liberals sad that the men failed to reach her. So you're for women's rights... but only if those are women who agree with your views? That's pretty hypocritical.

I think one of the biggest examples of how us Americans feel about women comes down to the issue of abortion. I'm pretty open minded about how people feel about things. I can see the good and bad in every position. But abortion seems pretty clear cut to me.

First off, no one is *pro abortion*. I was in a fairly long term relationship with this one woman who told me if I ever got her pregnant, she would have an abortion. It hurt me to hear that. A part of me thought, "What? You don't have the right to kill my child!" Some weird potential super Dad protector instincts came out of no where and I was ready to fight for my hypothetical child. I was genuinely upset she said that to me. But I thought about it. It's not my body. It's her body. If she doesn't want something growing in it, it's her choice. It's not a baby. It can't survive on its own. I don't like it. In fact, I hate it. I really hate the idea of abortion. But I really hate the idea of thinking a bunch of politicians I'm never going to meet can tell me what I have to allow to grow in my body. No way in hell would I put up with that.

Now, I look at the pro life movement. Life. I can get behind that. Who the hell isn't for life? Then I think about it. Most pro lifers are for the death penalty. Hmm. Well ok. Wouldn't you rather see a baby live over a murderer? Ok, so they're for the death penalty. ...and... some of them are killing doctors. Ok, that's a small percentage of Pro Lifers that kill doctors, but still... huh? Ok, obviously Pro Lifers would be vegetarians since the meat industry is cruel to animals. Actually, I think vegetarian Pro Lifers are really rare. I'm beginning to think 'Pro Life' really doesn't have anything to do with life at all.

Let's assume it's us men who get pregnant. How do we feel about abortion now? Better? Well, we trust men. I mean, we're men. We make decisions about sending people into war. We run companies. We make trucks and drive around in mud. We catch farm animals with rope and wrestle them to the ground. We're men. Society trusts men to be able to make decisions about our own bodies. I think that if men got pregnant, there would be no such thing as a Pro Life movement. Really, you're going to tell a man what he can't do? Um, no.

If you study Anthropology, you'll see a long, consistent line of men asserting their control over the labor and reproductive rights of women. When women get too powerful, we cut them down. When women take control over their bodies away from us, we call them baby killers, sinners, whores, and worse. We men control women. And as we see women try and be equal to us, we don't like it. But we're not alone. Women push other women down in Neo colonialist fashion. This is supposed to be the modern era, but us men are still in control, still dictating what values society passes on to the next generation... still propagating our control.

It makes me sad to see Pro Life women. It really does. I mean, it would be one thing if I was Pro Life, which I'm obviously not. But men are stupid. We're allowed. But women should know better. Social hegemony is strong. People become what society programs them to be. Are people really incapable of breaking out of this chain, of thinking for themselves? Or do we have to keep on with the slow revolution of gradualism?

eh, what the hell was I talking about? Oh right. I was talking about barely literate women who post on Craigslist. Sometimes I look through posts thinking it's funny. Other times, it's just so depressing. Like the low self esteem posts. Women that are like "yeah, I'm fat, but I put out." Or the disturbing, "wednesday afternoons only, must be discreet," posts. I've been in some terrible relationships. And I was dumb enough to stay with women that treated me horribly for too long, but never in my life have I ever considered cheating instead of having the guts to leave first. People that cheat on their partners are scum, and sadly, I know that includes a lot of people--including many of those women I dated.

Holy crap, this is getting long. Well, even if no one reads this, it's nice to finally get this stuff off my chest. More very long and boring rants coming soon.

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