Well, I voted for Steve Poizner yesterday. I knew it wouldn't do any good. But it's just a primary. Looks like Prop 14 is going to pass. Maybe we can start voting out some of the radicals now in the state legislature. I don't know how I missed voting for Carly Fiorina. I realized after I turned in my ballot, I didn't remember voting for the senate. At least I still get to vote for her when it counts in Nov.
I'm luke warm about Meg Whitman. I think the only thing I like about her is that Condoleezza Rice supports her and she doesn't want to mess with property tax caps. I thought her negative ads against Poizner were highly misleading if not plain wrong. I don't take her as genuine, but considering the alternative, just about anyone with a pulse would be better. I have a feeling California will become the unemployment capitol of the world if Jerry Brown wins. His supporters are saying that things were fine when he was governor. Yeah, but Brown is a maintainer, not a fixer. The state seriously needs to cut spending, cut education for executives that make six figures but don't do anything, break the stranglehold the mafia / unions have on this state, and lower taxes so businesses stop fleeing the state. Brown's not going to do any of the things we actually need done. Will Meg? She says she will. But will she? I don't know. I'll vote for her though and hope for the best.
I'm a lot more excited about voting for Carly Fiorina though. Boxer has been a long time embarrassment for this state. Hurry up November.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
I walk alone
Every moment of everyday, at every second of conscious thought, we decide who we are. If we are kind or lazy, curious or miserable, it all depends on what we decide through the infinite number of decisions we are constantly making. It is empowering to think we are both nothing and everything at the same time. Every conceivable in between is at our finger tips to construct ourselves from anew at every instant.
Despite this, we nearly always choose to stay on the many paths we walk and to stay the course. I was reminded of this today. I made a post on this blog last year about one of my learning disabilities. The one that made it difficult for me to understand people speaking to me when I was a kid. I'm mostly over it now, but I'm left with the fears of not being able to understand people that talk to me. This strange and no longer justified fear manifests itself in a few ways. I think part of why I overeat is because I want to be over weight and unattractive. It means less people wanting to talk to me. I flat out don't like it when people I don't know try and strike up a conversation with me. I push them away.
Today was the first day of the summer semester at American River College. While standing in line for about thirty minutes to buy a parking pass, I had such an incident. I considered several times leaving the line and coming back in the morning when it wouldn't be at long, but I stuck with it. I was finally near the very front. An attractive young woman in front of me turned to start talking to me. I don't know why it annoyed me, but it did. Yeah, I'm well aware of why I have so few friends, but this is how I am. But she told me she was not feeling well. She was first in line now, and about to go soon. I told her the wait was almost over, but she kept looking at me. It stressed me out a little, because I didn't know what she wanted from me. I wanted her to just turn back around and leave me alone. She said again that she was feeling sick. Before I could say anything more, she slumped against the wall and passed out. I knelt down in front of her and caught her head before she bumped it against a steel beam.
She opened her eyes again. I held her head gently with my left hand against her cheek. She looked at me weakly, barely hanging on to consciousness. I felt her head and asked if she was dizzy. The people in line just started down at us confused and in shock. I asked someone to get a nurse. I knew they were close by, but no one in line moved. They just stared at us. She closed her eyes again and I felt for her pulse. It was weak, but steady. Her lips were pale and I was getting pretty nervous at this point. A person at the desk called for the next in line. It was like a dream and no one in the world cared about this woman. I called out for a nurse again. I didn't realize it at the time, but I felt very close to her, like I would have crawled through broken glass to help her.
Two nurses came. They eventually got a wheelchair and I picked her up and put her in it. She looked at me and said thank you. I didn't say anything back. I felt like I should be doing more, but I didn't know what. They wheeled her back to the nurses station. I wanted to go, to hold her hand and sit with her, but I thought I would be in the way. It was a weird feeling. I ended up just standing there, in the middle of the hallway, watching them wheel her away, not knowing what to do. She faded around the corner and someone asked me if I was in line. I don't even know her name. I just walked away. Here I am typing this, wondering if she's ok and feeling guilty that I didn't go with her.
It also got me thinking, why does a beautiful woman have to pass out at my feet before I'll take notice and care about her?
The first serious g/f I ever had was absolutely horrible to me. I had to end that relationship and reflect for a few years for it to really sink in just how awful a person she was. But I think she's left me very cynical about ever letting another woman that close to me again. And I've stayed the course ever since, walking the bitter, lonely path I walk. With every moment of every day, I choose who I am. It's time to choose a new path.
Despite this, we nearly always choose to stay on the many paths we walk and to stay the course. I was reminded of this today. I made a post on this blog last year about one of my learning disabilities. The one that made it difficult for me to understand people speaking to me when I was a kid. I'm mostly over it now, but I'm left with the fears of not being able to understand people that talk to me. This strange and no longer justified fear manifests itself in a few ways. I think part of why I overeat is because I want to be over weight and unattractive. It means less people wanting to talk to me. I flat out don't like it when people I don't know try and strike up a conversation with me. I push them away.
Today was the first day of the summer semester at American River College. While standing in line for about thirty minutes to buy a parking pass, I had such an incident. I considered several times leaving the line and coming back in the morning when it wouldn't be at long, but I stuck with it. I was finally near the very front. An attractive young woman in front of me turned to start talking to me. I don't know why it annoyed me, but it did. Yeah, I'm well aware of why I have so few friends, but this is how I am. But she told me she was not feeling well. She was first in line now, and about to go soon. I told her the wait was almost over, but she kept looking at me. It stressed me out a little, because I didn't know what she wanted from me. I wanted her to just turn back around and leave me alone. She said again that she was feeling sick. Before I could say anything more, she slumped against the wall and passed out. I knelt down in front of her and caught her head before she bumped it against a steel beam.
She opened her eyes again. I held her head gently with my left hand against her cheek. She looked at me weakly, barely hanging on to consciousness. I felt her head and asked if she was dizzy. The people in line just started down at us confused and in shock. I asked someone to get a nurse. I knew they were close by, but no one in line moved. They just stared at us. She closed her eyes again and I felt for her pulse. It was weak, but steady. Her lips were pale and I was getting pretty nervous at this point. A person at the desk called for the next in line. It was like a dream and no one in the world cared about this woman. I called out for a nurse again. I didn't realize it at the time, but I felt very close to her, like I would have crawled through broken glass to help her.
Two nurses came. They eventually got a wheelchair and I picked her up and put her in it. She looked at me and said thank you. I didn't say anything back. I felt like I should be doing more, but I didn't know what. They wheeled her back to the nurses station. I wanted to go, to hold her hand and sit with her, but I thought I would be in the way. It was a weird feeling. I ended up just standing there, in the middle of the hallway, watching them wheel her away, not knowing what to do. She faded around the corner and someone asked me if I was in line. I don't even know her name. I just walked away. Here I am typing this, wondering if she's ok and feeling guilty that I didn't go with her.
It also got me thinking, why does a beautiful woman have to pass out at my feet before I'll take notice and care about her?
The first serious g/f I ever had was absolutely horrible to me. I had to end that relationship and reflect for a few years for it to really sink in just how awful a person she was. But I think she's left me very cynical about ever letting another woman that close to me again. And I've stayed the course ever since, walking the bitter, lonely path I walk. With every moment of every day, I choose who I am. It's time to choose a new path.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Love Boat
So Obama offered me a bribe if I'd agree not to post this blog, but I've decided to turn it down. But seriously, another one? Obama could make Richard Nixon go, "Wow, that's a little shady."
I read an article the other day that said that the Gallup Poll now shows the Republicans have the largest favorability over the Democrats at any point in the history of the Gallup Poll--since 1950.
It's not that Democrats can't govern. It's that they have in Obama, a radical, with radical ideas about the world, and instead of saying, "Wait a minute. This is not what the Democrat party stands for," the Dems just blindly go along with it. Healthcare remains unpopular and gets worse as more Americans lose their coverage because the bill causes premiums to go up, forcing employers to drop coverage. Now 70% of the country say they support Arizona's law and Obama says he opposes it and it will lead to racial profiling (hint: all laws can be used for racial profiling). Bush's approval rating shot up to a record breaking 90% approval with his handling of 9/11, but Obama's perceived handling of the BP Oil spill has caused his rating to drop. I don't really understand why, to be honest. But, Obama also has people that don't like him based on things that aren't true--secret Muslim, born in Kenya, closet racist, etc. And yeah, I'm embarrassed for all Republicans when idiot "birthers" demand to see Obama's birth certificate. Come on, really? Do you honestly think if there was even the slightest possibility that Obama was born in Kenya that it wouldn't be plastered all over the news constantly with hordes of journalists out snooping around? With all the actual real stuff to not like about Obama, people gotta make up crazy crap like this?
Back to bad stuff about Obama that's actually true... He had Bill Clinton bribe Joe Sestak with something they now claim didn't have tangible value, thus isn't technically a bribe. Anyone dumb enough to believe that? So now another candidate's come forward claiming Obama bribed him. Only this time, it was with a job that did have worth. Ah crap, how will they get out of this? So now they're spinning it that they didn't actually offer the jobs, only that they presented that the jobs existed. Huh, what?
So here goes. Andrew Romanoff applied for a job with the White House in 2008. He was turned down. Now, two years later, he decides to run against one of Obama's buddies for the senate seat in Colorado. The White House contacts Romanoff to let him know he can instead have that job he applied for. This is a federal crime to offer someone a bribe to drop out of an election for high political office. So the White House, having gotten caught committing another crime, is now trying to say that they didn't actually offer Romanoff the job. They just contacted him to make him aware of the job and that he could look into going for it... as if he wasn't aware of a job...THAT HE APPLIED FOR AND DIDN'T GET 2 YEARS EARLIER. These are terrible lies. They just insult your intelligence. Can Obama just go to jail now?
So I haven't been a big fan of Israel lately, but I'm cautiously on their side with this whole boat / blockage thing. New information could change my opinion, but so far, I agree with them. So here's the deal. Hamas took over Gaza a few years ago, and started firing rockets into Israel, right into the homes of civilians. So Israel invades, beats them up, takes their rockets, and leaves. Yeah, lots of innocent civilians got killed in the process, and that sucks, but that happens in war. So Israel blockades Gaza so no ships can get in. This means the people of Gaza would starve and die except that Israel gives Gaza massive shipments of food to keep them alive. Is it enough food, I don't know. But that's how this has been going on. Gaza is basically a large prison instead of a small country(well, it's not technically a country, but whatever).
So a bunch of activists decide to load up their boat and try and get through Israel's blockade to get "food and medicine" to Gaza. Israel offers to inspect the boat beforehand, and let them through if there's no weapons on board. The activists refuse and sail up to the blockade. So when Israel inspects the boat, the activists attack. Some of the activists admit to firing guns(there's footage to prove it and a few Israeli soldiers were wounded), but they claim they had to take the guns away from Israeli troops and fire the guns at them in self defense. This is complete bull.
The activists never had any intention of bringing aid to Gaza. They purposely tried to pick a fight with Israel in hopes of causing an international scene, which is exactly what happened. One activist was interviewed by Iran state run media saying he was ready to be a martyr.
Despite it clearly being a set up, even many European countries are condemning Israel. Obviously, nearly all the Muslim countries are strongly condemning it. Obama is in a bad spot here. He's made strides reaching out to Muslims, which I think is a good thing. But he's forced having to take Israel's side here. I'm not going to play arm chair president here. I'm glad I'm not president to have to make these hard and delicate balancing acts. I can't say I'm all that glad Obama is.
I read an article the other day that said that the Gallup Poll now shows the Republicans have the largest favorability over the Democrats at any point in the history of the Gallup Poll--since 1950.
It's not that Democrats can't govern. It's that they have in Obama, a radical, with radical ideas about the world, and instead of saying, "Wait a minute. This is not what the Democrat party stands for," the Dems just blindly go along with it. Healthcare remains unpopular and gets worse as more Americans lose their coverage because the bill causes premiums to go up, forcing employers to drop coverage. Now 70% of the country say they support Arizona's law and Obama says he opposes it and it will lead to racial profiling (hint: all laws can be used for racial profiling). Bush's approval rating shot up to a record breaking 90% approval with his handling of 9/11, but Obama's perceived handling of the BP Oil spill has caused his rating to drop. I don't really understand why, to be honest. But, Obama also has people that don't like him based on things that aren't true--secret Muslim, born in Kenya, closet racist, etc. And yeah, I'm embarrassed for all Republicans when idiot "birthers" demand to see Obama's birth certificate. Come on, really? Do you honestly think if there was even the slightest possibility that Obama was born in Kenya that it wouldn't be plastered all over the news constantly with hordes of journalists out snooping around? With all the actual real stuff to not like about Obama, people gotta make up crazy crap like this?
Back to bad stuff about Obama that's actually true... He had Bill Clinton bribe Joe Sestak with something they now claim didn't have tangible value, thus isn't technically a bribe. Anyone dumb enough to believe that? So now another candidate's come forward claiming Obama bribed him. Only this time, it was with a job that did have worth. Ah crap, how will they get out of this? So now they're spinning it that they didn't actually offer the jobs, only that they presented that the jobs existed. Huh, what?
So here goes. Andrew Romanoff applied for a job with the White House in 2008. He was turned down. Now, two years later, he decides to run against one of Obama's buddies for the senate seat in Colorado. The White House contacts Romanoff to let him know he can instead have that job he applied for. This is a federal crime to offer someone a bribe to drop out of an election for high political office. So the White House, having gotten caught committing another crime, is now trying to say that they didn't actually offer Romanoff the job. They just contacted him to make him aware of the job and that he could look into going for it... as if he wasn't aware of a job...THAT HE APPLIED FOR AND DIDN'T GET 2 YEARS EARLIER. These are terrible lies. They just insult your intelligence. Can Obama just go to jail now?
So I haven't been a big fan of Israel lately, but I'm cautiously on their side with this whole boat / blockage thing. New information could change my opinion, but so far, I agree with them. So here's the deal. Hamas took over Gaza a few years ago, and started firing rockets into Israel, right into the homes of civilians. So Israel invades, beats them up, takes their rockets, and leaves. Yeah, lots of innocent civilians got killed in the process, and that sucks, but that happens in war. So Israel blockades Gaza so no ships can get in. This means the people of Gaza would starve and die except that Israel gives Gaza massive shipments of food to keep them alive. Is it enough food, I don't know. But that's how this has been going on. Gaza is basically a large prison instead of a small country(well, it's not technically a country, but whatever).
So a bunch of activists decide to load up their boat and try and get through Israel's blockade to get "food and medicine" to Gaza. Israel offers to inspect the boat beforehand, and let them through if there's no weapons on board. The activists refuse and sail up to the blockade. So when Israel inspects the boat, the activists attack. Some of the activists admit to firing guns(there's footage to prove it and a few Israeli soldiers were wounded), but they claim they had to take the guns away from Israeli troops and fire the guns at them in self defense. This is complete bull.
The activists never had any intention of bringing aid to Gaza. They purposely tried to pick a fight with Israel in hopes of causing an international scene, which is exactly what happened. One activist was interviewed by Iran state run media saying he was ready to be a martyr.
Despite it clearly being a set up, even many European countries are condemning Israel. Obviously, nearly all the Muslim countries are strongly condemning it. Obama is in a bad spot here. He's made strides reaching out to Muslims, which I think is a good thing. But he's forced having to take Israel's side here. I'm not going to play arm chair president here. I'm glad I'm not president to have to make these hard and delicate balancing acts. I can't say I'm all that glad Obama is.
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